Friday, March 16, 2012

Paper... That's really what this post is about... Seriously

Every wonder about paper and where it comes from? No? Me neither! But I'll tell you anyway. We use the stuff every day, especially in places like schools and offices. If it wasn't 2012, and we didn't have computers the only way this blog post could exist is if it was written on paper. Paper isn't just referring to the kind that we run through the printer. There are different types of paper that are made in different ways.
Making paper starts with deciding what kind you want, because through that you will decide what kind of wood to use. You've got your two basic types if wood; those are hard wood and soft wood. Ironically, hardwood is what you use for a softer, smother paper while soft wood will produce a tougher but more rough final product. This all has to do with the fibers in the wood. Hardwood is made up of very short fibers. The paper will end up being smooth, but because the fibers are short the paper will not be very strong (think of how easy it is to rip something like a tissue for example). Softwood, on the other hand, is made up of much longer, stronger fibers. This makes the paper though, but the long fibers also mean that it will have a rough texture when it is finished (think cardboard boxes).
(idk why it's pink, just go with it)
Of course, a piece of wood doesn't just become paper. In order to use those short or long fibers companies need to separate them. To do this the paper producer (but it a large company or someone working from home) employs a technique called pulping. In a big factory pulping works through a combination of heat and pressure. Before it is to be pulped wood is "chipped" (i.e. made into wood chips.. clearly). The heat comes into play once the wood is already in chip form. The chips are heated in order to begin separating the fibers. Then the pressure is used. The heated wood chips are ground between a spinning wheal and a fixed plate in order to grind them into an individual fiber state. Water is
also used, that is what makes the pulp... pulpy.
So once you have pulp all that's left is to squeeze the water out. And that's what they do, they use a combination of presses and wires to drain the water from the pulp. The remaining product is then pressed and cut into the paper we recognize.
This is all well and good, but one question remains... Where is all this wood coming from? Paper doesn't just grow on trees! Well, it kind of does... The wood used to make paper comes from many different spices of tree, and often a mixture, depending on what kind of paper is being made. Most times these trees are grown on farms, which are harvested and then replanted. While the trees are growing they can (theoretically) be a habitat for wild life. This means that making paper could be one of the only big business projects that doesn't have an adverse effect on nature (when it is done right). 

So the moral of the story is... Buy green paper that is good for the environment, and recycle, and stuff like that. GO PAPER! 

 
 (this blog post has been made possible through a generous contribution by the "do it or you fail" fund. Flunking students one pointless assignment at a time)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

FREEDOM!!!

 Yesterday was my 18th birthday! And finally I AM
FREE!!! I realize only my friends will know what I'm talking about... 
 

 so sorry people in Russia I guess you get left in the dark on this one...
(lets just pretend he's Russian)

Monday, March 5, 2012

"Roses are Red"

We (I say "we" because Noell helped and thinks this is just as funny as I do) scoured twitter and those random yahoo answers pages and found some of the best "Roses are Red" poems out there. Here they are: 

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
some poems don't rhyme,
this is one of them. 


Roses are blue,
violets are unicorn,
this makes no sense,
refrigerator.

Roses are red, 
violets are blue,
something something,
lets get naked. 

Roses are red, 
violets are blue,
I know I'm pretty,
but what happened to you! 

Roses Are Red
Violets Are Bright
My Pet Dinosaurs Gonna Come
And Rape You Tonight



.

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Flying Snark

 The Flying Snark

The Flying Snark from the Latin flyus snarkus is any winged moth like insect that exhibits "snarkesque" traits. With over 123456789 know spices and variations of snark, it is one of the most wide spread avian beasts. The snark can be found in any of a range of environments including:

Deserts: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert
Wetlands: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wetlands
Forests: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forests
Tropics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tropics

How You Know You Have a Snark

 To identify a snark one must use the Kimothy Snarkation Scale. There are several factors that a creature must meet before being designated as a snark. It must exhibit ALL OF THE FOLLOWING TRAITS:
1. A general disregard for time and place when being "snarky"
2. Little to no knowledge of how awkward it is making a situation
3. Repetitive "snarkiness" with no apparent desire for change
4. Ability to bring out snark in others by mere presence
 5. Full acceptance of "snarkiness"
 Male Vs. Female 
The female snark is the more vocal of the two genders, preferring to spread their "snarkiness" through loud commentary and opinionated expression. The female snark has also been known to develop a volume control issue as well as foot-in-mouth syndrome, both of which inhibit its ability to know when to shut up. The male snark takes a more "low-key" approach, preferring to be "snarky" only in the presence of like minded creatures. The male snark often succeeds in maintaining an air of calmness, letting its "snarkiness" out only when the situation warrants an outburst.



How to Cope With the Presence of a Snark 
The snark is a protected species, having been deemed "a necessary means for the regulation of the ego of 
others". The deliberate killing of any snark will result in a stern talking to and a sever slap on the wrist. Snarks are protected under the migratory smart-ass act of 1802.
In dealing with a snark, it is best to take the "grin and bare it" approach. It must be remembered that the snark is extremely temperamental and has been known to attack with very little provocation. Rather than confronting the snark, one should remember that the snark will run itself out if left to its own devices for any length of time. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

WSCC Tomorrow

Tomorrow the notorious Mr. L'aMore is taking our Quiz Bowl team to WSCC for a tournament. We won when we went last year, so the pressure is really on... 
 
(The actual book we use in real practice)

 Should be a day of Nerdy Fun! :p

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Friday Needs To Hurry Up And Get Here!

Im developing a general frustration with school today... Looking forward to the weekend and having a good time with my friends:)